


The Magic In Me

by plinys



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Crack, F/F, Femslash February, Femslash February Trope Bingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-03-11 23:23:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3336647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plinys/pseuds/plinys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Skye is a Quidditch commentator and Jemma would just like it through one match without Skye telling the entire school about their sex life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Magic In Me

**Author's Note:**

> So last night I was talking about Quidditch Commentator Skye, and even though I had a completely different plan for filling the "wizard au" square on my bingo card this idea wouldn't leave my head. It's also pretty much a crack au, and one day I am going to stop filling this bingo squares with crack fics... One day.

“And there with the quaffle is the beautiful and radiant Ravenclaw Chaser, Jemma Simmons,” Skye says into the megaphone, “she is absolutely beautiful and a brilliant quidditch player - also incredibly in bed, she does this thing with her tongue that-“

“Miss Johnson!”

“Right sorry, Professor Hill,” Skye says, not sounding even slightly sorry, “where was I- ah yes, beautiful Jemma Simmons passes the quaffle to the slightly less beautiful Bobbi Morse. Who, fun fact, I have seen naked, because Lance Hunter is incapable of locking doors and also likes to hook up with people in the Slytherin Common Room, like for god’s sakes have a _tiny_ bit of class first years could have walked in and saw you two getting freaky-“

“Miss-“

“Right, got it Professor, no more sex stories,” she assures the professor before turning back to the game, “except, that quaffle just got past Gryffindor’s very good looking keeper, who happens to be single – like if I wasn’t madly in love with Jemma Simmons, I would totally be getting on that. I mean, have you seen Trip? He’s built!”

\---

“You’re going to get banned from being a commentator at this rate.”

“Nah, they like me too much,” Skye protests, laying her head down into her girlfriend’s lap, “plus if they kick me off the mic, they’re going to be stuck having to give it back to Ward, and let’s be honest nobody wants that monotone robot voice commenting on quidditch matches.”

Jemma stifles a laugh into her scarf, her auburn brown hair standing out in sharp contrast to the blue and bronze of her house colors.

“Jemma Simmons,” Skye says in her best mock of Ward’s robot voice, “Ravenclaw Chaser catches quaffle at a ninety-four point six degree angle, throws quaffle using her six meter arms-“

“My arms are six meters long,” Jemma says, still giggling.

“How should I know, I’m not a nerd or a robot.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s not actually a robot.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re actually a nerd though,” Skye protests, reaching up to bop Jemma’s nose, which as predicted gets her to do that cute thing where she wrinkles her nose in return, “a cute nerd.”

Jemma sticks her tongue out at Skye in reply, “I’m not a nerd.”

“You’re a Ravenclaw, by definition that makes you a nerd.”

“And what does that make you then,” Jemma asks, “a super villain?”

“More like you’re super-hot girlfriend.”

“Oh, is that how that works?”

“That’s definitely how this works.”

\---

“I’m literally being barred from seeing you because I can’t figure out a _riddle_ ,” Skye groans as though this whole system was designed just to disadvantage you, “I don’t understand why you can’t be like every other house and have a nice and easy password that I can bully first years into telling me.”

“Wait, you don’t really do that do you?”

“Well, I-“

“Because I’m a prefect and-“

“That reminds me,” Skye says, cutting her off and slinging her arms around Jemma’s shoulders, “we should totally go make out in the prefect bathroom.”

“If you think this is going to distract me from the fact that you bully first years-“

“We could do more than make out,” Skye continues, wiggling her eyebrows so her innuendo cannot possibly be missed.

If the way Jemma flushes a second later is any indicator, her innuendo gets across perfectly.

“You’re a terrible influence,” Jemma tells her, “I hope you know that.”

“I honesty try so hard to corrupt you,” she returns with a Cheshire cat grin, “like you have _no_ idea.”

“Oh, I might have a little bit of an idea.”

\---

“Rule number one of Hogwarts – do not purposely bait the giant squid.”

“I thought rule number one was not to talk about Hogwarts?”

“Like _Fight Club_?”

“Exactly like Fight Club,” Skye says whirling around to high-five Fitz, who disentangles himself from Mack’s side to meet Skye halfway.

“What’s Fight Club?”

“Oh Jemma, you poor poor wizard baby,” Skye coos, returning to her girlfriend’s side, “remind me one day this summer to kidnap you to the super pathetic orphanage I call ‘home’ and make you watch all the really cool extremely fundamental muggle movies that you missed during your formative years.”

“Ah yes, that sounds enlightening,” Jemma replies with just a hint of sarcasm in her voice, “we can watch that other movie you’re always talking about with the boat that sinks.”

“That Titanic, Jemma,” Skye replies in a mock scandalized voice, before turning back to the group, “can you believe Jemma hasn’t seen _The Titanic_?”

“You know personally I thought it was too long-“

“Nobody asked you Fitz.”

“But you literally just-“

“Anyways,” Skye says loudly cutting him off again, “who wants to see if we can get the giant squid to attack?”

\---

“If anyone asks you were practicing quidditch and a bludger happened to fly out of control and hit me in the face,” Skye says, squinting in the mirror where no magic or muggle makeup was helping to hide the purple mark along her cheek.

“I told you not to antagonize the squid.”

“Okay, I know that now,” Skye says as her fingers touch the bruise and she groans again, “but at the time it seemed like such a great idea.”

There’s the distant sound of Jemma sighing behind her, and Skye’s certain that if she turned around she would see clear disapproval on the other girl’s face, which is probably why she doesn’t turn around.

“Still you have to admit that it was pretty cool when it reared up out of the water.”

“It was a tiny bit cool,” Jemma admits with great reluctance, and this time Skye does turn around.

“I knew you liked it, see breaking the rules can be fun after all,” Skye insists, “and speaking of breaking the rules, you know what we could do-“

“I’m not making out with you while you have suction cup marks on your face.”

“With the makeup you can hardly tell!”

“It’s your punishment for not listening to me.”

“What exactly is the point of dating a prefect, if I can’t make out with her in the prefect’s bathroom?”

\---

“So, fun fact, dear listeners,” Skye says over the megaphone, “that chaser there, the usually beautiful Jemma Simmons, has gone four days now without having any hot sex. So if she’s off on her game, let it be known, that it is definitely not because the Hufflepuff Quidditch team is any decent, I mean come on guys it’s _Hufflepuff,_ but it’s clearly because Jemma Simmons has refused to sleep with her super amazing and wonderful-“

The next few words are cut off by a quaffle flying in her direction, not a bludger but a _quaffle_.

“That’s a penalty, right guys? It has to be against the rules to attack the sweet and innocent commentator!”

\---

“Oops.”

“Do not _oops_ me, Miss Simmons, we both know that was super intentional.”

“It slipped out of my hands.”

“You’re a terrible liar, and we both know it.”

“True, but we also know you’ll forgive me if I say ‘ _let’s make out in the prefect bathroom_.’”

“That’s definitely cheating.”

“What can I say, you’re a bad influence.”

 


End file.
